The Principles of Respectful Parenting
"Learn to treat your children with respect and live in harmony...."
"...without the need for bribes, threats, punishments, or protracted negotiations"
"While allowing your children to develop self-control from an early age...."
"...and, live fulfilling lives, supported for who they are, not who you'd like them to be"

Are You Making Mealtimes A Battleground?

If so, ask yourself.. Is your child a picky eater? Or just trying to stay alive?


We all want to encourage our children to eat a healthy balanced diet, yet modern family life and the explosion of food available from around the world, is making this orders of magnitude more difficult than at any other point in history.


As parents, following our instincts can get us into difficulties.


We need to learn how to diffuse the battles and give our children safe opportunities to learn.

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Welcome to The Principles of Respectful Parenting

Have you ever found yourself behaving towards your children in a way that you would never dream of doing with a fellow adult?


Are you locked into a pattern of empty threats, or other failed attempts to control?


Do you label your children as 'naughty' before you've even taken the trouble to explain the rules?


Are mealtimes and bedtimes a battleground?


Or, like me, are you just striving to be the best parent you can be?


Origins


When my daughter was born, over 6 years ago, I was determined to bring everything I knew about developing individuals and teams to my approach to parenting.


Never in my life have I done anything that required so much soul searching, self knowledge and emotional intelligence.


The Principles of Respectful Parenting distils everything I have learnt over the last 6 years and am still learning today.



The techniques outlined here will help you to avoid:


  • unwanted and protracted negotiations
  • resorting to bribes, threats and punishments
  • fuelling misbehaviour
  • using negative labels such as 'bad' or 'naughty'
  • imposing your own ideas, feelings and choices

While:


  • building mutual respect and a sense of your own authority
  • helping your children explore who they really are
  • allowing them to flourish
  • living together in harmony

All it takes is:


  • a little knowledge about how children develop
  • a few simple techniques
  • an acceptance of your role in their behaviour
  • a bucket full of generosity
  • a seemingly infinite supply of self-control

3 Steps To Respectful Parenting
Step 1:
Re-Frame Your Relationship
Remember, children are people too.  They are dependent on us to treat them as such.
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Step 2:
Minimise Controlling Interventions
Live in harmony, without commands, bribes, threats, punishments, or protracted negotiations.
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Step 3:
Go Beyond Love To Genuine Understanding
Help your children to discover their unique strengths and flourish for who they are, not who you want them to be.
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Common Mistakes Parents Make

Are you?...
Fuelling the wrong behaviours
Parental attention is behaviour 'rocket fuel'.

Give it to the wrong behaviours and you'll pay the price for years to come.
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Resorting to bribes, threats and punishments
These particularly damaging forms of control have no place in respectful parenting.

Is it possible to live without them?
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Locked into a pattern of protracted negotiation
Children can fight longer, harder and dirtier than most adults, so why try to compete?

Learn to avoid unwanted negotiations.
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Fundamentals of Respectful Parenting

Develop your...
Self Awareness
Changing your approach to parenting takes time and dedication.

Creating a heightened awareness of your existing style and the possible alternatives is a good place to start.
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Generous Spirited Authority
Combining a generous spirit with a firm and consistent authority will help liberate your children from unnecessary commands and controls.
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Age Related Expectations
For all their uniqueness and individuality, children have a lot in common.

By learning what to expect at different ages you can avoid many of the mistakes you might otherwise make.
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Tools and Techniques

Learn to...
Say It Once And Wait
Children can often take longer than adults to make a transition from one activity to another.

Give them time and they will develop self control.

Step in too quickly and they will enjoy waiting for us to escalate things.
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Give In Generously, Or Not At All
The key to avoiding protracted negotiations is to give in quickly or not at all.

Learning to give in, not just quickly, but generously significantly increases the chances of remaining firm when the answer is 'no'.
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Give Control To Achieve Control
The more we try to control our children the more they learn to resist.

Giving them control from an early age will teach them to be responsible for themselves and more receptive to us when we need them to be.
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