Are You...
Making Mealtimes A Battleground?
Do Adults Eat Too?
Do Adults Eat Too?
Our daughter was 2 and a half before she routinely saw me eat a meal.
Children learn what is safe to eat by watching others...
Our daughter virtually never saw adults eating when she was young.
Isn't that a bizarre thing?
Mealtimes were something to do before she got up, when she was having a nap, or after she'd gone to bed.
We valued those tranquil moments of peace, a chance to enjoy our food without the interruptions of a demanding child.
I think we knew in the back of our minds that family mealtimes were a good thing, but I don't think we knew why.
The first time she routinely saw anyone eat was when she was dropping her midday nap and I had no choice but to eat my lunch in front of her.
I remember so clearly her curiosity, wondering what I was doing, sitting and watching me acutely as if it was the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen.
I also remember when she eventually asked if she could try some herself. It became a regular thing. She'd have her lunch, we'd play for a bit, then I'd have mine and she'd have some with me. I had little time and energy to prepare anything elaborate so it was normally either beans on toast or a simple sandwich.
This was at a time when her own list of acceptable safe foods had reduced to a bare minimum and I was at my most anxious about her eating.
You'd think this would be my moment of realisation, that dawning of understanding.... she needs to watch me eat something over and over and then she'll feel safe to try it for herself!... but no.
The idea that she might learn about food through observing others eating just simply never occurred to me.
How stupid.
But, family mealtimes are happening less and less
Longer working hours, both parents working, changing eating habits, the divergence of 'adult' food from 'child friendly' food.
These all contribute to the rapid decline in family mealtimes.
It's a modern, and surely, unprecedented phenomenon in human evolution.
Until a couple of generations ago family mealtimes would have been the norm.
Babies would have observed adults eating from birth and been weened on food from the family table. They would have had endless opportunities to learn about foods safely before anyone expected them to try them for themselves.
And involvement in food production is now restricted to baking cakes and biscuits
Historically children would have been involved in every aspect of food production, from hunting, gathering, planting and harvesting to butchery and milling, to storing, preserving and cooking.
There would be little they would be expected to eat that they didn't know intimately through their eyes, hands and noses.
What a strange twist of fate that all that is left of this tradition now is teaching our children how to bake cakes and biscuits.
As if they needed to extra preparation for cake eating!
Despite this we expect our children to try every tasty morsel we lovingly prepare for them
Even if it's something they have never seen in their lives before, let alone routinely seen us eat, or been involved in its production.
Remember, young children do not refuse to eat things just to wind us up!
Created 22/05/2019
Last Updated 23/05/2019
